The I can't think of a title fic
by Star7
Summary: Rukawa returns after a year from America with some bad news for his koi... but a lot's changed in his absence.
1. Part 1

The *I can't think of a title* fic  
A yaoi fic by Star  
  
The boy looked silently into the Shohoku High gym. He hadn't been here for over a year, and  
it still looked the same. It was full of new first years hoping to join the legendary Shohoku High  
basketball team, they were all screaming and shouting loudly, so the boy tried to ignore the  
pounding headache he was getting and concentrated on looking out for familiar faces.  
On the far side of the court stood two boys in deep discussion, one short and one tall, the picture  
was almost comical.  
After a few seconds the taller of the two, with flaming red hair, turned to the thong of first years  
and shouted for silence. Although his voice was barely audible above the noise, somehow  
everyone got the idea that they should be quiet. All attention focused on the boy.  
"Alright! I am Sakuragi, *you may call me Tensai if you wish* and this is my assistant Myagi."  
Myagi frowned.  
"What do you mean assistant'?"  
"Errr..."  
Sakuragi gave a nervous laugh and waved Myagi away.  
"We've been watching you through the tests we've devised, and now we have a list of about 10.   
In order to narrow this down still further *if we can* we want the 10 people on our list to play  
a short one-on-one with either myself or Myagi so we can assess you in different areas. Any  
questions!?"  
All the young boys in the hall began to look extremely worried. Having to play a one-on-one with  
either of these two was very daunting, especially the red head... he was just /scary!/  
"OK, first up... *sucker one* against me!"  
A tall but weedy boy stepped out from the crowd as his name was called and Sakuragi smiled  
warmly at him. His skin was pale and his dark, silky hair fell messy about his head, however his  
eyes were friendly and Sakuragi liked him instantly.  
Myagi leaned close to Sakuragi and whispered in his ear, "remind you of someone?"  
Sakuragi blushed and hissed back, "/someone/ doesn't have eyes like that."  
Turning back to the boy he smiled again and indicated they should play away from the crowd.  
They went to an empty part of the hall and prepared to play, all eyes were on them, even the  
hidden ones from the doorway.  
As the game started, Sakuragi had little trouble getting close enough and stealing the ball, twisting  
round in a neat circle he jumped with the ball resting lightly but securely on his fingers above his  
head to score a perfect 3-pointer.   
All the first years ohhhed and ahhhed at the beauty of it.  
The eyes at the door widened. Sakuragi had obviously improved a lot since he last saw him, he  
moved much more fluidity and made a shot with much better accuracy.  
Sakuragi, amazingly, didn't even boast about his wonderful shot, *you see, Sakuragi is only  
boastful when he is feeling insecure* he mearly smiled at the weedy boy he was playing and  
invited him to have another go.  
This time the first year put up more of a fight. Try as he might, Sakuragi found it impossible to  
steal the ball, the new boy had amazing speed. Suddenly, and without warning, the first year took  
a shot from just outside the key area, Sakuragi wasn't fast enough to stop it. However, as the ball  
began it's decent, it became apparent that it wouldn't even touch the basket's rim. Sakuragi  
breathed a huge sigh of relief before striking a Tensai pose and declaring:  
"Ha ha ha ha ha, no one can beat the TENSAI!" *See what I mean?*  
Suddenly there was a gasp from the year ones and Sakuragi spun round to see what was taking  
the attention away from him.  
The boy from the doorway was running easily across the court. He jumped up and gently pushed  
the basketball so it slid into the basket. He landed gently then snatched the ball from where it was  
bouncing gently on the floor of the gym. When he spoke his voice was deep and expressionless.  
"What Tensai? I don't see any Tensai."  
Sakuragi's mouth dropped open.  
Then he blinked, rubbed his eyes and shook his head to clear the hallucination from it. But when  
he looked up again the boy was still there. After a second a smile broke out on his face and he  
ran into the other boy's arms which such a force that sent the dark haired boy crashing to the  
ground.  
"Kitsune!"  
Sakuragi fell heavily on top of Rukawa, but the fox-eyed boy didn't complain, he just hugged  
Sakuragi tightly.  
After a few seconds Sakuragi pulled away and heaved himself up to sit on his hunches, peering  
inquisitively at the boy who was still sprawled on the floor.  
"Why are you here, Kitsune? You should be in America training."  
Rukawa shrugged as he pulled himself into a sitting position in front of the red head.  
"You've improved much."  
Sakuragi looked puzzled, not understanding what Rukawa was talking about.  
"Basketball, do-aho."  
"Baka Kitsune, all you ever think about is basketball!"  
"Iie, all I ever think about is /you/"  
Sakuragi scowled at Rukawa, angry that the fox could talk about their relationship so casually.  
"Why are you here, Kitsune?"  
Rukawa glanced past Sakuragi's broad shoulder at looked in annoyance at the mass of boys who  
were watching them.  
"I'll talk later, do-aho, in /private/, but I think we should sort out these boys."  
Sakuragi gave a start and looked behind him, as if realising for the first time that they weren't  
alone. He sighed loudly and pulled himself to his feet.  
"Gonna help us Kitsune? Ayako isn't here, she'll not well, and Haruko's celebrating /another/  
of Akagi's scholarship with the family."  
Rukawa shrugged and stood up smoothly.  
"Might as well."  
The boy who Sakuragi had been playing against earlier approached them tentatively.  
"Are you... Kaede Rukawa?"  
Rukawa turned his icy eyes on the boy, a cold glare which made the boy step backwards in alarm.  
"Well... it's an honour to meet you finally... Sakuragi-senpai speaks of you so much."  
The icy eyes turned to Sakuragi, making the red head also take a step back.  
"Err..." Sakuragi waved a hand nervously "...you may have popped up once or twice in  
conversation."  
Rukawa raised his eyebrows.  
Feeling the tension mount up, Sakuragi tried desperately to change the subject;  
"So, Kitsune... you gonna play these guys for us so we can see what potential they have, but go  
easy on them huh?"  
Rukawa shrugged again. "I play to win."  
"Oh."  
Sakuragi hastily turned away. "Go ahead *sucker 1*, give it your best try."  
  
With Rukawa's help, although his new level of skill was almost impossible to beat, the list shrunk  
to 6 people.  
Afterwards, in the changing room, Sakuragi finally spoke with Rukawa alone;  
"Why are you here, Kitsune?"  
"You've asked that question 3 times now."  
"And I'll keep asking it till I get a straight answer."  
"There isn't a straight answer."  
"Fuck it Kaede, why are you here!"  
Rukawa let his head hang, and kept his eyes firmly on his hands that rested in his lap.  
"I wanted to see you just in case."  
"Just in case what?"  
"Just in case... something... something /bad/ happens... you never knew where the winds gonna  
blow in this life huh?"  
Sakuragi slowly got up from his seat next to the fox and knelt on the floor in front of him. Gently  
he lifted the raven-haired boy's head with a finger until their eyes met.  
"Tell me Kaede."  
There was a long silence.   
"I have cancer."  
There was a even longer silence.  
"No... no, Kitsune, that isn't funny, it's not funny, it's not true, it can't be, I mean, you... /you/?"  
But one look into the fox boy's eyes told him it was.  
Sakuragi removed his finger from underneath Rukawa's chin, who again looked down at his  
hands.  
"You mustn't, /mustn't/ worry, do-aho, I'm responding well to the chemotherapy, and it looks  
like I'll be fine, I'll be fine, okay?"  
Sakuragi's own head was hanging, and tears leaked out of his eyes. Slowly he raised them, but  
couldn't quite look into Rukawa's.  
" Don't worry'... don't worry' you tell me... ha! Kitsune! I watched my own mother die of  
cancer... I watched her slowly die, and /you/ tell me not to worry. Why the fuck shouldn't I  
worry??!!"  
He stood up, suddenly angry at the old, familar fears he felt, tears streaming freely down his  
flushed cheeks.  
Rukawa continued to stare at his hands, his own tears dropping off his nose onto his lap, his  
shoulders and hands shaking.  
Sakuragi stood still for a moment before turning sharply and walking out, slamming the door as  
he went.  
Rukawa collapsed into a sobbing mess. He hadn't expected a /good/ reaction from Sakuragi, the  
doctor had told him not to be angry at the way Sakuragi might behave, but... why couldn't  
Sakuragi see?  
Slowly he whispered;  
"Hana... I'm so scared..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The alarm rang shrilly in Rukawa's flat, but the fox boy had already left. He was, in fact,  
presently walking down one of the back streets to where Sakuragi's flat was. When he reached  
the huge tower block, he fitted one of his keys into the foyer door without needing to call  
Sakuragi's doorbell.   
When Rukawa and Sakuragi had been a couple before the fox's adventure to America, they had  
practically been joined at the hip. They both had keys to the other's house and generally lived in  
whichever took their fancy at that time. Even for as long as a week they might live together.  
There was a small plump man sitting in a reception area, when he saw Rukawa he sat up in  
surprise.  
"Rukawa-San! Are you back from America... the place has been so lonely without you!?"  
Rukawa actually smiled at the man *nods... yep, you read right!* of whom he was very fond.  
"Hai, I am back."  
"Well, go on up... I'm sure you and Sakuragi have a lot to catch up on."  
The man gave a short, nervous laugh as he watch Rukawa disappear up the flight of stairs. Then  
he shook his head sadly, "oh poor, poor Rukawa-San. I hope Sakuragi-San tells him gently."  
  
Rukawa stepped into the flat, then stepped back out again, then he closed his eyes, stepped in and  
opened them again.  
His mouth hung open.  
The place was /clean/!  
There were no clothes, no magazines, no school work lying about the place as it had once done,  
everything was in it's proper place and although Rukawa had strived for a long time to get the  
flat looking like this, it kinda made him sad to see it. I'm really not a part of Sakuragi's life  
anymore...' he though dejectedly to himself. Then, shrugging and telling himself he should be  
happy to see the flat clean, he made him way across the flat to Sakuragi's bedroom.  
Slowly he pushed open the door, and breathed a sigh of relief... the room was filthy. Empty tea  
cups, cans of drink, sweet wrappers and chocolate bar wrappers and all the rubbish you can  
imagine was fitted into this small bedroom.  
Sakuragi himself was hidden almost completely under the covers of a new double bed he'd  
obviously invested in during Rukawa's absence. Rukawa grinned at the memory of them trying  
to push the two singles together after one romantic night at a restaurant.  
The fox-eyed boy had to tiptoe across the room, with every step he took he stood on something  
that made a loud noise under his feet. Finally he reached Sakuragi's side, a mop of red hair the  
only thing visible, the duvet was hanging half off the bed, and was twisted wildly round Sakuragi's  
body, the boy had obviously had trouble getting to sleep last night after Rukawa's revelation.  
Rukawa gently pulled the duvet so that Sakuragi face was uncovered from it's folds. Sakuragi  
looks so /kawaii/ when he was sleeping!  
Gently... very gently... Rukawa traced a finger across Sakuragi's face like he used to when the  
do-aho refused to wake up in the morning. Sakuragi's nose wrinkled in annoyance as Rukawa's  
finger ran down it. The gentle touch persisted and Sakuragi *still asleep* waved a hand to bat  
it away, but the touch continued. Sakuragi, slowly slipping back into consciousness stretched and   
yawned widely. The touch still didn't stop so Sakuragi murmured;  
"Stop it... go away... leave me alone... go away Akira."   
The finger was suddenly pulled away so Sakuragi rolled over and allowed himself to fall back into  
sleep.  
Rukawa stood, unmoving, trying to disbelieve what he'd just heard;  
/Sendoh/!?  
  
*End of part 1*  
  
  
I haven't decided how to end this fic... so I thought I'd leave it up to you guys;  
1) Should Rukawa recover or no?  
2) Should Sakuragi get back with Rukawa, or stay with his new love Sendoh?  
3) Can anyone think of a title???!!!  
And obviously any constructive criticism is welcome  
PS, I'm terrible at making up Japanese names... so I didn't... sorry!  
Thanx 4 reading my fic... hope you enjoyed it... Star :-) 


	2. Part 2

The *I can't think of a title* fic  
Part 2  
  
Sakuragi opened his bedroom door silently and looked out.  
He fox, he noticed, was lounging carelessly on the sofa reading a book... *hang on a second!   
Rukawa? Reading?! A /Book/?!*  
The red-head squinted, trying to read the title from such a distance;  
Cancer - the facts'  
Sakuragi frowned slightly, concerned that Rukawa should be reading such a book that was bound  
to depress him. His brown eyes lingered on Rukawa's lips that were moving as the boy muttered  
under his breath whilst he read. He felt the corners of his mouth being tweaked upwards by some  
invisible force. Such sexy lips... with a shock he realised that he hadn't claimed those lips in over  
a year.  
  
Rukawa paused at the end of a paragraph about how cancer affects friends and family. Sighing  
loudly, he reached out and picked up a framed photograph that was sitting on a small table next  
to the sofa.  
  
Sakuragi watched as Rukawa ran one long, slender finger gently across the image of his mother.   
It was one of the very few photos he had of the whole Sakuragi family; his father, somewhere in  
America; his younger brother who was staying with his aunt during his father's absence; and of  
course his mother who'd died last year of cancer.  
  
A lone tear trickled slowly down Rukawa's pale cheek.   
It wasn't fair, for someone like that, a bright, happy woman to just be /pulled/ out of this world.   
Everyone missed her so much, missed her smiles, the way she'd hug Sakuragi mischievously in  
public places and get him all embarrassed, missed those wonderful chocolate snacks she made and  
Sakuragi used to take to school every day as part of his lunch.  
Will I go the same way?' he thought, feeling a little depressed.   
No', he realised suddenly, because unlike her, no one will miss me'.  
  
"Morning Kitsune!"  
Rukawa looked up and raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement of Sakuragi's greeting.  
"Ohayo gozaimasu."  
The reply was formal and toneless.  
Sakuragi shrugged off the hostility in his voice and made his way into the kitchen.  
He hadn't been surprised that Rukawa was here, but he had been hoping that he wouldn't be.   
Sakuragi didn't feel ready to face reality yet.  
Opening the fridge to get the milk, a yellow post-it note in his own writing caught his eye;  
  
Meet Akira, Riverside, Saturday, 11am.  
  
Shit!  
He looked at the clock on the kitchen wall, it was 10:30, he had half an hour to get ready, to find  
an excuse to give Rukawa and to get his ass down to the river.  
He was about to bolt back into his room to find some clothes when, as an after thought, he pulled  
the note off the fridge and threw it in the bin. It wouldn't do to have the fox-eyed boy see it,  
things were already complicated enough without Rukawa knowing about Sendoh.  
  
15 minutes later he re-entered the living room, fully clothed with excuse prepared, only to see  
Rukawa pulling on his jacket.  
"Eh? Where're you going?"  
"Out."  
This might be good... if Rukawa was going out then he wouldn't have to lie to him about going  
to see Sendoh.  
"Erm, anywhere in particular?"  
He tried to keep his voice from sounding too nosey.  
"I'm going to meet someone."  
"Oh. That's nice."  
Sakuragi... the world's worst actor.  
Well, you can hardly blame him, he hadn't been looking forward to lying to Rukawa, and this was  
his escape route.  
But it was too good to be true.  
"Oh, and Hana?"  
"Hmmm??"  
"Sendoh says he won't be able to meet you until 12:00. He apologises."  
Sakuragi choked.  
"He /phoned/!?"  
Rukawa's icy eyes didn't soften at Sakuragi's discomfort, instead they hardened at the way  
Sakuragi was trying to hide things.  
"No. /I/ phoned /him/. That's who I'm going to meet now. We have a lot to catch up on."  
Rukawa picked up a basketball from the floor and spun it on his finger, indicating what he meant  
by catch up'.  
Sakuragi's eyes filled with worry.  
"But... but... you mustn't!"  
"Oh no? Care to tell me why not?" Rukawa challenged mercilessly.  
The red-head opened his mouth to speak, but then he faltered, unable to find a reason except the  
truth. He looked down at the floor, feeling himself going a strange red colour.  
The sound of the door slamming made him look up sharply.  
Rukawa had gone.  
Sakuragi stood still for a few seconds, gathering his wits. He reached for his jacket, intending to  
follow Rukawa, but then stopped. What good was following him going to do?   
Sighing he flopped down onto the sofa, deciding to do some serious thinking.  
  
Rukawa approached the court with no readable expression on his face. Sendoh continued to  
dribble the ball up and down the length of the court expertly.   
Sensing the icy presence, the spiky haired dude looked up and flashed a smile at the fox.  
"Rukawa."  
Rukawa simply inclined his head in greeting.  
"Icy as ever I see... well... it looks like we're rivals in another sport now huh?"  
"It does."  
Sendoh passed the ball to Rukawa in a challenge, interested to see how a year in America had  
improved the rookie. Rukawa returned the pass, accepting the challenge and silently vowing to  
whip Sendoh's butt. *NB, Rukawa wants to beat him in the basketball game... just incase some  
of the more lemony minds out there misunderstand Rukawa's intentions* *grins nervously*  
...and thus the one-on-one began...  
After what seemed like a very short time the score rested at 4-0 in Rukawa's favour.  
Sendoh's smile was beginning to falter.  
However, despite his lead, Rukawa couldn't shift the heavy weight on his heart. Was Sakuragi  
slowly slipping through his fingers?  
A look of worry passed across Sendoh's face when the fox-eyed boy's back was turned. The boy  
certainly had improved in a short year. Sendoh had always known that the potential in Rukawa  
had existed, however, he'd never expected it to over take him so quickly, and this game was a  
rude awakening.  
No matter, the game hadn't ended yet, and Sendoh hadn't even got going.  
  
Rukawa immediately noticed the increased speed and determination in Sendoh's attack. He  
secretly smiled to himself, was Sendoh Akira loosing his cool? No matter, we'll see how further  
this boy can go.  
  
Sakuragi hadn't got very far. He'd only realised one thing, this was going to be extremely hard.   
How was he supposed to choose between the two people most dear to him?  
It had dawned on him how delicate the situation was, and how difficult the decision was.  
He didn't think he /could/ choose, it was impossible! Which needed him more? Which deserved  
him more?  
Sendoh?  
The one who had been there for him when Rukawa had left for America. The one who'd patiently  
waited for Sakuragi to make up his mind. The one who'd helped to heal the scars left by  
Rukawa's departure. The one who'd filled his thoughts *and his bed* in the most wonderful  
ways over the last year. The one who'd offered him undying love, the such that Rukawa had  
never shown.  
Rukawa?  
Icy, non-feeling, emotionless, sleepy /all/ the time, only thought about basketball, only cared about  
basketball, never made Sakuragi feel wanted, never made Sakuragi feel needed, but always  
managed to make him feel uneasy... or was it so?  
Was it so when he ran his long, slender fingers down Sakuragi's cheek? Was it so when he'd  
gently taken Sakuragi's head in his hands and kissed him shyly for the first time? Was it so when  
he'd whispered those 3 magic words in Sakuragi's ear?  
  
Confusion, confusion...  
  
Sendoh took a drink from his water bottle. His bubbly smile had returned now that he was in the  
lead again *where, in his opinion, he belonged*. It was 7-6 in his favour.  
Rukawa didn't seem very worried, which was quite unnerving. The icy expression was still in  
place, however, as he began to dribble the ball slowly and purposefully, he finally spoke;  
"How much faster can you go, Akira Sendoh?"  
"Eh?"  
Sendoh was puzzled, not understanding what Rukawa meant. All became clear, however, when   
the fox whipped past him with speed that resembled a bullet to score a beautiful 3-pointer.  
From that point on, Sendoh might as well not have been there for all the good his defence and  
attacks did. The game ended 7-11, although it was obvious that it could have ended 10-0 if  
Rukawa had wanted to.  
Feeling a bit narked, Sendoh frowned. *Sendoh?! Frowned?! This fic is insanely OCC. & I  
apologise!*  
The two boys sat together under the share of a tree, each panting heavily as they drank from their  
water bottles.  
Predicably it was Sendoh who broke the silence.  
"So... what are we going to do?"  
"???"  
" Bout Hana."  
Rukawa's eyes narrowed, but he answered Sendoh's question.  
"We let him choose."  
"Really? We could settle this between ourselves you know."  
"No. It's his choice."  
"Won't it hurt him? Forcing him to choose?"  
"It's the only fair way."  
Deciding to end the conversation, Rukawa got up to leave, but Sendoh's voice stopped him.  
"I won't let him go you know. I love him."  
There was nothing but sincerity in what he said. Sendoh spoke the truth, and Rukawa knew it.   
The feelings Sendoh had for Sakuragi might even rival his own feelings that nestled deep down  
in his icy heart.  
Rukawa allowed his two blue eyes to settle their freezing glance on Sendoh's face.  
"That doesn't matter."  
"Nani?!"  
Sendoh jumped up angrily, reminding Rukawa of a certain red-head... how suited these two were  
together.  
"Are you saying that love counts for nothing?!"  
And such childish naiveness they both had. Couldn't Sendoh see that in the real world, you can't  
always do what your heart demands of you? But Sendoh was one of those laid back people who  
only lived for the moment, not caring for the future or the past.  
"No, I didn't say that."  
"Then explain yourself."  
"When you love two people the same, how can your heart choose between them? No, Akira  
Sendoh, something other than love will decide this."  
Sendoh's eyebrows raised, interested in Rukawa's speech.  
"Then what? What is more important than love?"  
Slowly Rukawa reached out a hand and touched Sendoh's cheek gently.   
Sendoh wanted to step away from the touch, but he didn't, not wanting to seem afraid of this icy  
boy.  
"The fact that although love will last forever..."  
Rukawa let his hand drop back down to his side.  
"...mere human flesh will not."  
Rukawa turned sharply and began to walk away.   
Desperate to know what the other boy had meant, Sendoh called out to him one more time.  
"Rukawa! One more question!"  
The fox stopped walking, but didn't bother to turn around.  
"Do you expect Hana to choose you?"  
The reply came, cold and hostile, however there was a hint of sadness in the voice which Sendoh  
had never heard from Rukawa before.  
"No."  
  
Author's note *sobbing*  
Poor Kitsune *sob sob* why am I so mean to him? *sob sob*   
Oh well, as you might have guessed, this is fast becoming a Ruhana, and I've thought of how this  
is going to work out, HOWEVER, the life of Rukawa still lies in your hands.   
Do you want him to recover or no?  
I can't say I /want/ to kill him, but, if it makes a better fic, then I'm perfectly willing to do so.  
Hmmm... decisions decisions....  
Thanx 4 reading my fic, any comments welcome *as long as they are constructive* I hope you  
enjoyed it! Star :-) 


	3. Sakuragi's choice

The *I can't think of a title* fic  
Part 3 - Sakuragi's choice  
By Star  
  
"Kaede?"  
The dark haired boy glanced up at Sakuragi through the flickering flames of the candles  
that were set on the table.  
Sakuragi poked his food round his plate nervously. Even though Rukawa's cooking  
was wonderful, he hadn't got the stomach to eat anything right now. Nor, apparently,  
had Rukawa. The fox-eyed boy hadn't even touched the food that he'd spent ages  
preparing, he'd only allowed himself to nibble on a small piece of bread. His stomach  
felt as though it'd been twisted into so many knots it would have put his hair to shame.  
"Do you want me?"  
Sakuragi had asked exactly the same question to Sendoh last night, and the answer  
was still fresh in his mind, echoing round it like a shout in a cave;  
Yes. I want you more than anything in this life, or any other life. I'd give anything to  
have you."  
Would Rukawa's answer match this?  
  
Rukawa's mind was also whirling.  
So, this is the question that'll decide it all. That'll decide whether my life will be ripped  
to shreds or no. How to answer?'   
He nearly laughed out loud at the stupidity of his thoughts.   
Simple. All along it's been the same, Sakuragi must like me for /me/ and no other  
reason. I'll tell him only what's true, and if he doesn't like it... well... we were wrong for  
each other from the start.'  
  
None of these thought's portrayed themselves on his face. They never did, and now  
was not time to break with tradition.  
Rukawa replied simply, never taking his eyes away from Sakuragi's face;  
  
"You are the thing I want second most in the world."  
  
Sakuragi felt as though he'd jumped off the top of a 20 storey building, and his heart  
was plummeting even faster than the rest of him.  
At least it was decided then. His love would be Sendoh and, hopefully, in time he'd  
forget the magic that he and Rukawa had once shared.  
But curiosity was sparked in him.  
He was second... but to what? Pah! As if he couldn't guess...  
"So what comes first? /Basketball/!?!?"  
His voice sounded bitter, portraying all the disappointment that he refused to believe  
he was feeling.  
Rukawa's eyes had changed. They were now looking at him half in pity, and half  
*huh?* /painfully/?  
"Is... is that what you think of me?"  
He was looking down at the table now and... wait a second... were they, /tears/ silently  
rolling down his cheek?  
"You think of me as somebody... somebody who'd put a stupid sport above the person  
they... the person they love?"  
Sakuragi frowned, confused.  
"What am I supposed to think Kaede? You just... zoom' off to America and leave me  
here..."  
His voice sounded louder and harsher than he meant it to, but he hardly noticed as he  
got angrier.  
Rukawa's shoulders shook as he stared intently at his untouched food.  
"I... I swore I'd wait for you... I swore I'd always love you. I never broke that promise,  
and I never will. I have dreams to follow, Hana, everyone does, but, I would never have  
gone if... if... if I'd doubted for a moment that you wouldn't keep the same promises I'd  
made. But... but... you didn't wait for me, you just... /forgot/ about me. It hurt. It hurt  
so much..."   
"Stop!"  
Sakuragi had to blink wildly to stop the tears cascading down his cheeks. He'd never  
thought how much this whole thing must have hurt Rukawa and Sendoh. He'd been too  
wrapped up in his own little world of tough decisions to pay any attention to them.  
"I'm sorry."  
"What for?"  
"For... for... for everything."  
Sakuragi knew his voice sounded pitiful and stupid, but it didn't matter now, Rukawa  
didn't want him.  
Rukawa stood up slowly at Sakuragi's words, causing the chair legs to scrape painfully  
on the smooth wooden floor.  
"If that's what you think of me... then you never knew me."  
Sakuragi sighed, knowing that Rukawa wanted him to go. He knew he should be  
feeling sorry, upset and concerned or /something/ like that. He felt slightly guilty that  
he was feeling none of these things... all his emotions had been squashed to one side  
and over taken by another... curiosity.  
"Wait... Kaede... tell me, what is it you want most in the world?"  
Blue icy eyes met warm brown ones, and there was a few seconds silence.  
Rukawa had to look away before he spoke.  
"That you should be happy."  
A thousand thoughts rushed into Sakuragi's head, and a thousand rush back out again.   
The main one being, what does he mean?'  
It took a few seconds for Sakuragi to realise that he didn't understand.  
"Eh?" He said cleverly.  
Rukawa tore his eyes away from the seated red head, and walked to the side of the  
room to lean against one of the display cabinets, his back to Sakuragi.  
"I want you to be happy, and well..."  
He turned his head to the side and looked down sadly, unknowingly giving Sakuragi a  
breath taking view of his beautiful profile.  
"...if that means giving you up to..." He shuddered, "...Sendoh, then... fine."  
  
Sakuragi suddenly felt /stupid/. This... this boy was so deeply in love that he'd sacrifice  
his own happiness for /him/?!  
He blinked, refusing to believe that such strong emotions could come from Rukawa.  
Wasn't this the boy who he'd jokingly nicknamed Kitsune'? Because of his sly and cold  
attitude?  
Realisation began to dawn on Sakuragi, and it felt like he'd just taken a cold shower.  
  
"Will you leave me then?"  
It wasn't so much of a question, it was a statement.  
Sakuragi knew he was gaping like a goldfish; did Rukawa seriously think that he'd just  
walk away... /still/?!'  
Getting up slowly he approached Rukawa, and gently slid his arms around the slim  
boy's waist. Holding him tightly, Sakuragi whispered in his ear, his warm breath   
tickling Rukawa;  
"I'll go nowhere without you... never again. I messed it all up, Kaede, I messed it up  
so badly. You want to know why?"  
Silence greeted him, however he continued, undaunted by Rukawa's lack of response.  
"I thought everyone was like me. You, Sendoh, I thought you were like me, but you're  
not. Me, I show what I feel, I can't hide it inside myself like you. You, I'm so sorry  
Kaede, I thought like the do-aho I am, I thought that just because you didn't show any  
feelings, that you didn't have them. Forgive me."  
The silence, *if it was possible* grew more silent.  
"As for Sendoh..."  
Rukawa tensed under Sakuragi's hands.  
"...he's the other way round... he shows emotions that aren't real, the things he  
appears to feel are not actually felt by him. Do you understand?"  
Rukawa shifted, and managed to turn around in Sakuragi's arms to face his love.  
"Thank you."  
Sakuragi grinned happily. And so everything was solved, he felt like a huge burden  
had been taken off his shoulders. He leaned forward to kiss his fox, but Rukawa pulled  
away.  
"Kaede?"  
Rukawa fumbled in his pocket and brought out a hankie which he began to cough into  
loudly.  
"Kaede!?"  
Sakuragi had to let the boy go as he continued to cough.  
Removing the hankie from his pale face, Rukawa tried to stuff it into his pocket without  
Sakuragi seeing, but Sakuragi didn't miss the spots of red blood that stained the  
previously white hankie.  
"Kaede..."  
Rukawa looked up at Sakuragi, his kitsune-eyes glassing over in pain.  
"Thank you, Hana..."  
Then, with a slight sway, he fell gently to the floor.  
  
~tbc  
  
  
  
Authors note  
Arrrrhhhh! I can't decide!!! Someone help me here!!!  
Okay... I want you to tell me straight out... should Rukawa die or no?  
I don't know what to write! *Breaks down into tears* I can't take it any more!!!!  
*stops crying for a few seconds in order to write her name*;  
Star, Lovin' the Kitsune, xxxxx 


End file.
